Thursday, January 27, 2005
Is there any hope?
I have been pondering this question over and over again.
“Is there still any hope of us getting back together again?”
I have tried all means and the answer from you is an emphatic no. You do not love me, will not love me and will not come back to me. And all 17 years of love are just fake. In fact you said that on the point of marriage, you no longer have any love for me, marriage was just an escape for you.
But how very cruel can this mean to me. Seventeen years of cheat and betrayal. I have put in all my love for the last 17 years and all I got in return was that you never loved me at all.
I thought I have known you very well. You cannot deny the happy times that we had when we were together – love or not.
And I believe you are by nature a very kind woman. I remembered once when we were in a taxi and we saw and old man on motor-cycle being knocked down. You actually stopped the taxi and helped the old man and made arrangements that the old man was properly look after before we continued our journey.
You were so nice to a stranger and what more to someone who had spend 17 years with you. I believe in the intrinsic goodness of human nature, I believe that even if you never loved me in all these 17 years, the feelings and care and concern that you had for me can never be faked. And 17 years of feelings cannot be erased overnight.
I will not believe. Yes, you may not have love me but we have spent 17 years together and surely that counted for something. I also believe you are not a cruel and heartless person and I believe you just cannot get over the guilt of this betrayal.
I still believe in time to come you will come to your senses. Maybe it will be a long time, maybe it will be the day that I am left dying and lying on my death bed. But I am sure that that day will come. And I will wait.
So, I believe I still have some hope. However small the hope, I have to hang on to it. Please do not give up.
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1 comment:
Hi,
I could understand how you feel ... except from the fact that my marriage lasted only 4 months to see the truth. And I had no kids ... and hence, the pain is not one can ever imagine - for no two persons can feel the exact feelings.
My ex-wife was with a male colleague having join this new company for barely one month. Everything seems to be of little meaning to her ... that for someone she has toyed with her feelings (which took enormous efforts to prove) means much more to her than a marriage we worked so hard for.
Undeniably, we did had our arguments here and there, but it was ridiculously used as the potent weapon to abandon a solemn marriage ... that two parties come together and say "I do".
And once more, the episode of a wife attempting suicide for another man replayed. You are not alone my friend. And I can understand how it feels ... a husband - me, having to comfort my own wife for losing another man. The pain is simply too hard to describe with words. My heart suddenly turn as cold as a stone on the moon.
Life moves on ... we just need to find ourselves back on our feet again. To step out in the sun once again and tell ourselves, now we are alone ... and we can only leave for ourselves and our loved ones.
Ed
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