Sending you off

It was not a usual Sunday morning as you were flying off in the morning. I woke up early but realized that you were gone. It really sank my heart. I SMS you and you said that you went to run some errands. What errands at the wee hours of the morning? And then you SMS again, saying that you went to the temple and will be back shortly. I do not know the truth and I do not want to know the truth. But I have this bad feeling all over me. And we (me and S only) sent you to the airport. It was still early and we had breakfast. We even share the same cup of coffee. And then you flew away. I watched you flew away. My heart was heavy but when I thought that I can meet you a couple of days later in Australia, I broke into a smile. It was a long day, and we (the children and me) did nothing. I allowed them to do whatever they wanted and I did nothing but staring onto empty spaces. And then you called. Your seemed cheerful and calm. Your words. You said that you have made a decision. I was wondering what decision – I thought we already made a decision to rebuild our family. And then the words came. You said that finally you have made a decision for yourself, a decision you arrived at through your real self. And the decision was that you no longer love me and can no longer live with me as husband as wife. You spoke so calmly. And you asked me to respect your decision. Wow, a decision indeed. After all the pain I have gone through, we were back to square one. A decision indeed. A decision made for yourself indeed. How about the children? You still wanted the children, to eat dinner with them, to go out with them. And what about me? You said nothing. You have given me hope and now, I it was all taken away again. I struggled for words but none was forthcoming. It was a long night and I thought about the things that we had said. And life then seemed meaningless. But what about the children? You wanted everything intact and yet you do not want me. You wanted to sleep in a separate room and yet you want to be in the house – pretending to be the mistress of the house and pretending that nothing had happened. What a thought!