For those who had responded to my posts, I say thanks. I know what I was doing but it was only sometimes I could not quite control my emotions - that was why I wrote that blog. I know the state of mind she is in right now. As much as she wants to get away from me, she herself is also undergoing a lot and need to adapt to a new whole lot of changes. And I believe, she is also missing the kids badly. I really don't know. Sometimes I feel that she is trying to reach out to me - like these few days, she has been communicating a lot to me, telling me how things have change, how certain places that we have been have change back to its original and that sort of things. But at times, I can feel her detaching from me, intentionally trying to get away from me. I guess she is still very much unstable and confused - although she may seem to be quite normal. On the other hand, I just feel very much affected by what she is doing although I know I should not be. I am trying to get into her frame of mind and I think I am starting to ignore these contradicting signals from her. Yes, we are separated and I should be in this frame of mind - separated. What she is saying or not saying - we are still separated and I should not try to read too much into it. And I am not planning for divorce yet - it is still a long way to go. The only good thing is that she is not fighting or planning to fight for custody - and that is the reason why I am allowing her full access to the children - almost as and when she wants. It would be extremely difficult to be have a complete break-off due to the fact that the children are involved. However, I will try not to respond too much to her call and SMS. I will try to remain sane. She just called and wanted to come back for dinner. I am trying very much to stay calm and cool and hope that everything will be in order.