I did not know if it was intentional but she was just not responding me my SMS. Yesterday morning, I sent her one SMS there was no reply at all. All the whole day all I was thinking was whether should would contact me. At 13:46 she did send a SMS - but it was nothing important - just that her father was bringing some food for us and she was not able to join us as one of her colleague had an open house. And then the through the day and through the night, nothing from her at all. I sent her a SMS in the night and again there were no response. I called her number twice but no one picked up the phone. It was easy to get through the day as I was busy with work. But once I reached home - it was another story altogether. The kids were there with me at the dining table and we all sat quietly eating our dinner. We did not talk much. And S started to irritate me again by not eating her rice - I lost my cool and told her to go live with her mother. Immediately I knew I had did the wrong thing as she started to cry. I have to console her and apologize to her and told her that I love her. And then F was also sulking and the little one was at her usual playfullness - starting to throw F's book around and made a mess out of her work. The house was getting messy. After dinner, they went to do their homework. And the eldest one was complaining about the amount of homework that she had - first there was maths - and I helped her with it. And then history and then ART. I told her I was too tired to help her. And then the little was crying and needed attention. S went to sleep. It was a tiring day. I got the maid to make the little one sleep while I started to switch on the computer for my daily doze of chatting. Still there were no response from her. I checked S mobile and realized she had SMS her. Sigh. But what about me? I just realize that the had days ahead - especially with the three kids would be tough. When they sulk or throw tantums or refuse to do what they suppose to - I will feel terribly sad and lost. How I wish she is around to help me deal with the kids. But in other moments when they are so sweet - all my sadness will disappear and everything seems so bright. I chatted till almost 2am. It was good as I had almost forgotten about the pain and all the strangers seemed so understanding and encouraging. I chatted till the little one woke up crying. She ran out of the bedroom crying and wanted me to carry her. I have to console her and pat her to bed. And I went to bed as well.