I thought that I was very strong. How wrong was I. I thought I coped very well and how wrong was I. It was all just suppression. I was trying very hard to feel nothing. It was a long day at work and when I got home it was already almost 7pm. I had dinner with the kids and after that they retreated to their homework. By 10pm they had all retired to bed. I felt tired too and decided to rest early. I went into the bedroom - the two kids were lying on the bed - sleeping. I did not know what happened next - suddenly I felt so lost and hopeless and lonely. The feelings persisted and I felt that I needed to talk to someone. I did the unthinkable - I SMSed her. I told her that I was "feeling very lost and hopeless and lonely". She asked me what happened - whether it was my health or my work. She must be crazy. Was she really so out of touch with my feelings that she did not know that it was because of her? I just told her that "life sucks". She said sorry and that she had let me down but she cannot reverse it. Then she said that I was very thin and asked me to go for a medical check-up. And then it all ended. I went to sleep.