It was a good night for me. At last I got to talk to a professional marriage counsellor. We talked for about an hour and work out some plan. The key thing as he said is to be patient and to have a lot of energy. He said that since we are still on talking terms, it is important to keep her engaged, have so much contact as possible with her as she allows and without pressuring her. It is still too early to talk about re-building the marriage to her as she will not be receptive. And to be frank and honest about my feelings - like still missing her and so on but not to dwell on it too much. Another thing is for me to spend as much time with the children as possible - to work all all my schedule around my children - so that in a very subtle and indirect way - restricting her access to the children. He also recommended me a book and wanted me to read the book and then pass the book to her - to tell her that I needed her help to read the book to help me validate my thoughts and feelings about the relationship. The key thing is to help me look at the whole relationship so that I can do better - and not to help her (it is indirectly). Even if may help me realize that it is time to let her go. After the counselling session I felt so much better although I knew it will be a long road ahead. As usual I began chatting and I chatted till almost 1:30am. At least I found someone to chat just to kill time and it helped me find my balance. Then I went to sleep. The little one slept well and did not wake up. I was awaken by my mobile ringing at 5:30am in the morning. It was from that woman - the wife of my wife's lover. I did not pick up the call. I put my mobile into silent mode as I did not want to disturb my little one. The call came in almost non-stop and as I did not pick up, she SMS me - telling me something happened and urgent, that my wife left a suicidal note. I got up and tried calling my wife but she did not pick up my call. I SMSed her and she replied that she was OK. Then I called her using S's mobile and she answered the call. She sounded OK but I knew instinctly that it was not. However, she reassured me that she would not do anything stupid. Then I SMS her a couple of messages - telling her to calm down, to think of the kids and that we are always there for her. And that was it.