I took a day-off as I planned to play some golf with her and to bring the children out for tea with her. But most of all, I just wanted to see her and to talk to her. I SMSed her again about the meeting in the afternoon but she did not reply. I sent her more SMS and called her on her mobile and still there was no answered. Then suddenly I was terrified and kept calling and SMSing her. But still she did not pick up my calls nor reply my SMS. I called her friend, E asking her if she was at work. She replied "No". Then I told her that I was unable to contact my wife. She too tried to contact her but to no avail. I sat slumped on the sofa, staring at the empty spaces. Then suddenly she replied. She said that she was sleeping and wanted me not to disturb her. She also wanted to cancel our meeting in the afternoon. And she told me everything was settled and that should would tell me later. I had no feelings. I went to wash up and made my way out of the house. I have a medical appointment in the late morning - my routine checkup - for a mini-stroke sufferred last year. I was still on medication and needed to control my Blood-Pressure. I went for my medical checkup. It was a long wait. I did the blood test and waited for a long while - more than 2.5 hrs before seeing the doctor. And there was still more waiting to get the bill and the next appointment and to wait for the medicine. While I was waiting, she SMS me - saying that it was OK to meet at 3pm. I had a funny feeling - a feeling of uncertainty. I got my medicine and made my way home. I reached home around 2.30pm. F was sick and at home. I saw her took her medicine. And the little one just woke up from her afternoon nap. She wanted me so much as she sat on my laps while I was sitting on the sofa. The maid made some milk for her and she was lying on me and feeding on the milk. I felt a certain closeness to her; I felt as if I was a mother to her. And she refused to drink her milk unless I let her lie on me. I felt happy with her by my side. It was almost 3pm and I made my way to the meeting place. When I was parking my car, "he" called. And he told me what happened in the morning. They had talked the whole night and at last he made the decision to left her to go back to his family. But my wife did not take it that well - and threatened and attempted to commit suicide. As he said, he got no choice but to "bluff" her that he would want to be with her again to calm her down. And he wanted to tell her the truth and since I was meeting her, he would want to tell her the truth that he wanted to leave her in my presence so that he can leave her while I shall stop her from committing some stupid acts. I agreed and told him to come immediately. I got out of my car and I saw her. I had not seen her for a week and now looking at her - I felt a certain pain in me. She looked haggard, her eyes swollen - probably with too much crying. And she stared at me, asking me "Why?". I said nothing. I got ourselvers two drinks as we set opposite each other. I tried to stall for time by talking on some inconsequential things. And she realized it and pushed me to speak out. And she spoke out herself. She mentioned that she would get a lawyer the next day to do the legals for the separation and that was the only thing she wanted to tell me - nothing else. I told her that whatever that was going to happen, she must stay calm and think of the kids and not to do any rash thing. She did not answer me and she started to walk away. I knew she was trying frantically to call him but to no avail. I followed her. And she was still running away. Then he came and we saw him. She went towards him and shouted at me to get lost. But I did not. She started to curse at him to ask him why was he doing this all over again. Then she started to ran - and told us that we would regret. We chased after her. She was running to her car and we caught up with her. She sat in the driver's seat and I was standing - with the door open beside her. He was sitting next to the driver's seat but he got hold of the car-keys and passed it to me. She grew hysterical and screamed at me to get lost - saying that she hated me and the sight of me made her angry. Then she wailed at him - asking him why was he doing this to her all over again - many times over and over again - everytime wanted to be with her and yet each time wanted to get out. I was still there standing. She started to punch me, and she bitten me on my forearm and even gave me a tight slap but still I was motionless - refused to let her out of the car. And she wailed at him again - asking him why after the last separation at the park - and when she went to Australia, how he wanted to be with her again and asked her to come back to him and yet now all he wanted was to leave her. It was all over but she refused to accept the reality. He took his things (some of his things are in the car) and he left. His father came to bring him away. And she was still screaming at me and created quite a scene. I refused to move and told her that I would return the car keys to her only when she had cooled down. She wanted to get out of the place as there were too many eyes watching us. She agreed to let me drive as she moved to vacate the driver's seat. My second daughter S called wanted me to fetch her from school. I drove off to fetch her. I dropped her outside the gate of my house. I asked my wife to get into the house but she refused. She wanted to go back to the hotel. I asked her if the kids mattered to her. She said that they did not matter anymore. S was getting down the car and the door to our house was opened. F and the little one was standing near the door and I could see three of them. They were looking anxiously at us. But she refused to get down the car, she refused to see them. I did not want to create a scene so I drove her to the hotel. She was still furious at me. She said she hated me and never hated me this much and wanted nothing to do with me anymore. She asked me to disappear from her sight for good. But I told her that I needed to see to her safety before I leave her alone. I called her friend E to come down to be with her at the hotel. E agreed but said it may take a while as she had some official business to settle. We reached the hotel but she was still had not cool down. She sat at the lobby and told me repeatedly that the sight of me irritated her. She wanted me to get lost. But I did not lose my cool. I just stood there. We waited for like an hour and still E had not appeared. I called her and she said that she would not be able to come down so quickly. And while we were talking, she dashed into the lift and I was too slow to stop her. I sat at the sofa. She had gone to her room but I was still there sitting at the sofa. I knew then I was powerless to stop her from doing anything to herself. I just sat there. I waited there for like 30 minutes and then she called. She said she wanted to talk to me and asked me to go up to her room. I went up to her room. She was sitting on the bed and I was standing. She did not look at me and she started talking. She apologized for what she did to me - how she shouted at me and how she hit me. And she thanked me for the past 17 years of looking after her. She said it was all over. She had decided to move on in life. She would not want anything to do with him anymore - even if he wanted to start all over again. She would change her mobile, resign from the company or even migrate to overseas. As for me, she would arrange for separation as soon as possible. For the kids, she would want to see them as and when she wanted. And that was it - 17 years - that was it to end it all. I stood there trying to contain my emotions. And I could not. She tried to hug me but I pushed her away. I went to the toilet to cool down and to wash up. When I was more composed, I return to talk to her - the usual crap. And I leave her room and did not look back to look at her. It was all gone. I walked aimlessly, trying find some directions. But I knew then that the children at home needed me. I was not sad. There were no feelings in me. That was nothing in me, just this sense of emptiness. I walked for about 2 hours and then I took a cab home. The kids were at home and as usual they were watching TV. They had already taken their dinner and I tried to eat something - I have not have a single bite of food since the previous day. Then we all retreated to the study room. I was helping F with her maths and at the same time playing with the little one. The three kids are my inspiration. I did not tell them anything and I did not know what to tell them. I was tired and decided to lie on the bed. The little ones came to me as well as she climbed onto me to lie on top of me - her face on my chest. I patted her softly as she fell asleep. I fell asleep too - momentarily. When I woke up F and S had already gone into their bedroom. I carried the little one to the bedroom, got myself washed up and slept beside her. I woke up at around 1am and could not get myself to sleep again. I got up to write this blog. It was such an eventful day. The day had ended and a new day would begin. My new life would start and I have to start right now.