After two days on inaction, she at last SMSed me. "Is everything ok with you? This morning you haven woken up when i pick up S" I was wondering how I should answer this question. Should I tell the truth or should I just tell a lie and said that everything was OK? I decided on the truth and I replied: "How am I suppose to tell u? I am still badly affected and will be so but I still need to live on for the kids." "Sometimes I wonder how are u getting on. Are u really happy with this? Dun you miss the kids? I know life will never be the same for me. It won't be me. I won't be happy. Living only 4 kids. And then she replied: "I miss the kids. I have been calling them and always look forward to see them if I finish my work" "I have no more feelings anymore. I am sorry I caused u misery" "Tell me how then will you be happy again apart from having me back" "Pl tell me tt you can get over me. Do you think you shd see a doctor or start expanding ur social circle?" And I replied: "It has been more than a month now. Time really move so slowly. Just wish time can move faster and the kids can grow up quickly so that I can be released from this misery" "I won't wish or want anything. As u said like a zombie that is the life I have been living" Then she really hit on my nerves by replying: "You want me to feel bad only right?" I really wanted then to ask her to fuck off. After all the sufferings that I have gone through, she was still thinkging that I wanted her to feel bad by telling her all these. In the first place, I did not want to tell her all these. I did not SMS her, I did not pester her, I was just being myself. She wanted to know how I felt and I told her my feelings. And she was thinking that I was trying to make her feel bad? How about me? As if I was feeling damn good. But I did not tell her off. I told myself that I must not lose my cool, I must feel detached and I replied: "Till this day u are still thinking of me in terms of me wanting u to feel bad. It is ok. U suppose I should be happy?" After a long pause, she replied: "Sorry. Last time you said tt you will move on as long as i m happy" At this point again, I was getting a bit angry. Talking about last time. The last time she told me that she loved me; the last time she said that she wanted to walk the remaining years of her life with me; the last time she said she wanted to rebuild the marriage. And she was still talking about the last time, about the past. Anyway, I was not about to lose my cool. I remained extremely calm and replied: "Why are u sending me all these sms. I have move on. I have not disturb u. I may not be happy. I have not try to change u. So u should not be telling me how to live." And it was a very long pause of more than 1 hour before she replied: "Sorry. Just concern. sigh" And that was the end of the SMSes exchanges. At the end of it I did not feel anything. I was also amazed that I was able to keep my cool and my emotions in check. The day still has to move on. Life is still moving on.