Depression

A new dawn. A new beginning. Everything seemed to fall into place and we have agreed to try to rebuild the family. And I thought I was OK that I am strong enough to see it through. Depression – that is the word that has eluded me. It was not in my vocabulary. It is a word used to describe other people but not me. But now, I am depressed. Everything I do seemed insignificant. I just stared at the empty air. I am going about the daily affairs of life automatically without thinking. I just simply lose the ability to think. And the word – suicide. Another alien word and it flashed across my mind. But I knew I would not do that – that was beyond me but sometimes I wished that death would come suddenly and take me away, without giving me time to think about it. Of course, it was such some silly thoughts. The pain in me seemed manageable. But in reality, it was just suppressed.