Final Conclusion

I had sent out the ultimate letter and when I read your response – it was all gone. You had that defeatist attitude that I find it hard to penetrate. I have tried all I can but you were just too stubborn to see my point. So you told me now that you never loved me. Even the love messages sent last year were all fake – just to ease your guilt. And all 17 years of love are all but fake. Is this believable? How can you possibly spend 17 long years with me without feelings and love? I find it hard to believe but I have to accept. Irregardless of the truth of the matter, you have only one objective – and that is to leave me. This very act of you has showed just how much the marriage, how much your hubby and how much the children meant to you. There is no denying that for once, you have made a decision just for yourself. I was very angry and went to the toilet to cry. But what is the use of tears? I cleaned-up myself and took the car out. I just drive aimlessly. And out of a suddenly, I burst into tears again. I just drive on till there was no where to go – the sea was before me. I got out of the car and sat on the bench, looking at the sea forlornly. I cannot but cry but what is the use. Time passes so slowly. It is really very difficult to come to terms to this reality of you wanting out. You said that love cannot be made to order, but we have had it for 17 years. Was it that difficult? You said that you love the children more than anything else – and if this is true – why are you doing this to destroy the children’s happiness? You have created this problem and instead of picking up the pieces to build the home and put back the pieces – you simply chose the easy way out – that is out. Yes, you will have peace. You will stand-up again and put focus on your career. And yes, you can be very successful in your career but so what? Will the children be happy? And if they are not, will you be truly happy and be at ease? You don’t have to spare a thought for me, just for the children. What is best for them? Are you willingly to sacrifice everything to make them happy? No, you made a selfish decision. You just wanted out and dumped the 3 kids at me. And you can see them at your leisure – when you are free to bring them out, and for dinner for eg. How about me? How about their homework, how about their emotional needs how can I play the role of the mother? Have you thought of all these? But you are right. The decision is right for you. You no longer have to face the guilt, you no longer have to face me. The children will not know about your affair and you can still play the role of a good mother. I had asked you to look from my point of view but now If I look at things from you point of view I began to realize something. I realize that you may not have a choice. I would have done exactly the same if I were you. Exactly the same. I began to empathize with you. I began to realize the pain that you have gone through to arrive at this decision. How can you possibly face me and love me again after all these? It is quite impossible. It would be a stain that you could never erase. Finally, I realized the inevitability of this outcome. What is done is done and cannot be undone. Life has to move on. I wish you the best in your endeavor. May you find success in your career. And may you find true happiness one day. As for me? Well, I will try to be strong and focus my energy on the three kids.