A long day

It has been the most difficult day of my life. I was on leave and with nothing to do I can only focus on the pain. The day passes so slowly. And when I got home in the afternoon, the children were back from school. I went to sleep as I do not know how to face them. I slept a while till my head hurt and I woke up. I put on my running shoes and went out for a walk. I walked and walked till I started to perspire before I came home. I took a hot shower and dinner was ready. The children were eating at the coffee table but for once they were not watching TV. I got my food and joined them at the coffee table. I looked at them and even before I took my first mouthful, I realized the tears welling up. I went to the toilet to clean-up. Then I took my plate to the dinner table – not being able to face the children and not crying. And you guess what? The two kids followed me to the dining table and started to tell me about their day at school. I tried to remain calm and listened to me. And I managed to finish my dinner. It was a very quiet evening as the TV was not on. And little trouble started popping up as the little ones again ripped out the correction tape of the eldest one – causing her to scream out loud. And I drove out to get the replacement for her to cool things down. It was just over 9pm and I was already in bed. It was a long day and I do not want to think too much. The 2 kids were lying beside me. But you were not there. Suddenly I missed you so much. I really wanted to SMS you but I stopped myself. Instead I SMS E. And I even asked E if there is still hope? What stupidity. It was all gone and I went to sleep.