I woke up this morning feeling good. I had not had much sleep because I slept late - chatting away with "strangers" till after 1am. But it was a nice chatting session as I managed to kill a couple of hours of time - a couple of hours of numbness, of not having to think about her. I sent the kids to school and after that I went for my walk. During the walk I SMSed her - just a normal "Good Morning". It took her quite a while to reply, by then I was already resting in the park. And we SMSed for a while - nothing out of the ordinary - but at least we did not quarrel. Then I asked her to meet on Friday - dinner with the kids and after that, I wanted a heart-to-heart talk with her. The good thing was that she did not object but instead she asked for agenda for the meeting! How so professional! And I jokingly said that I would prepare a PPT presentation. I told her that I was still organizing my thoughts and would let her know about what we are going to talk about. Then I went home, happy that I have made a little progress. The key thing was to get in touch with her without putting too much pressure on her and without imposing demands on her. Separation was really a very difficult reality to accept and to adjust to and I did not want the separation to turn ugly so that the hope of coming together was still there. When I reached home, the little one was already awake and was sitting near the door. She called me immediately and as I carried her she hugged me and I asked her to kiss me. She looked so cute and sweet. I washed up and went to work. While reply my email, I realized that I have a day-off to claim for working on 11th Feb and I thought that 18th Feb would be a nice day to take a day off. But what to do on a day-off. I thought of going golfing - but with who? I SMSed her, asking if she would like to take some time off to play golf on Fri, if not on the course then at least to the driving range - time to whack some balls. She did not object but said that she needed to check if she can take leave on Fri. Again a positive sign!. For the rest of the day, I was busy, busy and busy. When I got home it was after 8pm. The kids had finished their dinner and I fetched them for their kumon classes. But I was terribly disappointed with them as they did not complete their kumon assignment. When their kumon classes were over and as we were talking in the car, they told me that they had dinner with mommy today. And when they asked mommy where she was staying, she actually told them that she was sleeping in the car. I was worried. I called her immediately but she did not pick up her call. Then I SMS her and asked her to call me. It was a tiring day and I decided to retire early to bed. Just as I was lying on the bed, the phone rang. She called. I asked her where she was and she said at a hotel. Then I asked her why she told the kid that she slept in the car - she said that it was a joke. I felt so lost and useless that I actually broke down. If separation meant that she did not have a proper place to stay then I would have to curse myself for allowing the separation to take place. If anything will to happen to her when she was outside, how can I possibly answer to her parents (who are still in the dark) and to the children? But she reassured me she was safe and sound and had found a place to stay and right now was staying at a hotel. I hung up the phone. But I was dead tired and felt quickly I fell asleep - not having to think and to feel sad.