It was a hectic morning for me. After sending the children to school I could only afford a short walk and it was back to work again - working on my presentation materials. The little one was cheerful today and did not stick to me like glue. After the presentation in the late morning which stretched right through lunch hours I had a late lunch. Then back to the office to clear emails and handle outstanding issues. It was a good day actually, got myself so immersed in my work that when I was ready to leave office it was already 7pm. I realized that I had not think about her for the whole day and she did not call nor SMS me. The thought was enough to make me feel a bit weak. I thought I missed her dearly but there was no time for such thoughts. I had to go home for the kids as it was Kumon night and I needed to send the kids for their Kumon class. We had dinner and F was complaining about her menstrual cramps - the woman stuff - something I could not help her with. And surprising S finished her dinner quite quickly and I sent the kids to their Kumon class. Went to the NTUC to pick up some household necessities and also bought two bottles of soft drinks for F - for her whatever rockets that she wanted to make in school. Then I brought the kids home. It was an uneventful day and I felt good about the day. Life was moving on slowly but in the right direction. And at last after 10pm she SMSed me. She asked if it was OK for the three kids to bunk in with her on Friday night. I replied OK as long as the kids are OK. She said the kids are OK. Then she told me about her possible overseas trip the next week and another trip to London the following month. I did not say anything but just acknowledged with OK. Then she told me about the difficulty of cancelling her mobile line as there will be a big penalty. I was inclined to tell her just to pay the penalty but I kept quiet instead and advised her to change the number if it was not possible to cancel the contract without a huge penalty. But in my mind I was thinking, what the heck is the few hundred dollars of penalty? I did not want to upset her and remained calm and collected throughout the exchanges of SMS. I was in fact very much impressed with my own coolness - the ability to feel detached. I knew that the best I could do was to feel nothing and not to say anything to upset her. I should just move forward and leave her to herself to see beyond the fog. I can only be a guiding light, a dim light in the darkness. She has to help herself out of the foggy night. Then I went online to chat with my new found friends. And gosh, I chatted till 2am. I showed them my daughters' photographs and all agreed that they are beautiful and cute. But it was a good chat as I almost forgetten about my pain - I can only see senseless words flying around. It was good fun to talk nonsense or even serious matters of the heart. It was amazing how we can open up to strangers on the net and talked about our deep dark secrets. And it was equally amazing how such strangers can provide support and encouragment in times of despair and hopelessness.